Second Annual LIFE Day

March 1, 2012

Second Annual David Nathaniel

LIFE (Leave an Impact for Eternity) Day

It is hard to believe that we will be celebrating David's 2nd birthday 10 days from now. Every time that I think of him or look at his picture, my heart longs to see him again. I am so thankful that one day, I will.

Over the next couple of weeks our family will be remembering David Nathaniel's small but powerful life by Leaving an Impact For Eternity (LIFE), and we welcome you to join us in our effort to bring LIFE to others.

Here are the details on how you can participate:

1. Sometime around David's birthday (March 1st), do something to Leave an Impact For Eternity (LIFE). It can be for a stranger, a friend, a family member, etc. You can do one thing, or several things. For some ideas, click here.

2. Come back to this blog and leave a comment letting us know how you celebrated David's birthday with us (tell us about your act of LIFE), or email me your act of LIFE along with a picture, if you have it.

The Biblical basis behind this idea is found in Colossians 3:12-14, which says, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

When we, as Christians, “put on” this type of life, we are inviting the world around us to live a new way, an eternal way. The invitation is not to embrace a new ethic but to embrace Jesus that offers this new life (Col 3:1). So, in celebration of David’s Nathaniel's LIFE Day, our goal is to “put on” this kingdom of God mindset so that we might leave an eternal impact. For more information, please click here.

This year, our family will be loving our neighbors as an act of LIFE. David's birthday, March 1, will mark the 10th anniversary of the day that we moved into our home. During our 10-year tenure in this neighborhood, we have failed in many ways to share the love of Jesus with our neighbors. However, we have repented from this and resolved to be obedient to our calling as followers of Christ.

As a first step, we are reaching out to our neighbors by bringing each family some homemade goodies and attaching a note explaining the reason behind the celebration of our son David's life.

If you would like to spread the word about our LIFE celebration, please feel free to copy our invitation at the top of this post and put it on your blog, or link this page to your Facebook or Twitter account. Thank you for remembering the life of our son, David Nathaniel, with us.

A Valentine's Tribute

Two years ago, my husband Tommy hijacked my blog and wrote me the sweetest Valentine, just two weeks before our son David was born. This year, it is my turn to return the favor.

Dear Tommy,

We have been through so much together over the last 12 years. Law school, seminary, job loss, and losing David. Statistics say that our marriage should be over, but I say that we are stronger than ever. By the grace of God, we have emerged from the deep valleys as the best of friends.

The bond that we share has come at a great cost. Though we should not have been surprised at our suffering (I Peter 4:12), we were. As the trials of this life closed in on us, the heat became almost unbearable. At times, it seemed as though we could not withstand the Refiner's fire (Malachi 3:2). The process of our sanctification together has been difficult and painful.

God's plan for our lives was not the path that we envisioned when we said our vows 12 years ago. But God, in His infinite wisdom and immeasurable love, ordained each day of our lives before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:16). His kiss of affliction has made us what we are today.

Through it all, you became my rock and my safe haven. You led me with strength and tenderness. Your spiritual fortitude and unwavering hope in God nourished and strengthened my spirit. Thank you for recognizing the great importance of your role as my spiritual leader.

In my brokenness, I learned to lean on you, and you were faithful to hold me up. Thank you for loving me faithfully and sacrificially. Thank you for watering my soul with truth, cultivating God's work in my life, and honoring me as your wife and fellow heir of grace. You are truly a gift.

I love you,

Rachael

One Incredible Year

2011 was quite a year, and I can honestly say, one of the most amazing years of my life so far.

It was a breath of fresh air when the clock struck midnight on January 1, 2011. After losing David in 2010, I needed new hope, and I prayed that the new year would bring it.

January brought us a southern snow storm. We had so much fun being housebound and playing in the snow for 5 whole days!

February gave us news that we were expecting another baby. We were incredibly excited about this blessing, but at times, afraid to hope again.

March was a celebration of David's birthday, and a beautiful tribute to the tremendous impact of David Nathaniel's life.

April was a season of Lent and learning to trust again.

May delivered the report that our baby GIRL was healthy and strong! Oh what glorious news!

June was the month that Benjamin celebrated his spiritual birthday, and Tommy and I rejoiced in God's faithfulness.

July was filled with birthdays and summer fun.

August ushered in family vacation and Caleb's first trip to the ocean.

September was the month of Esther's birth. What a glorious gift she has been to our family!

The first day of October was the day that we brought our baby girl home from the hospital and remembered our David Nathaniel.

November was month #2 of LOVING life with our new gift.

December was the month that I officially became a stay-at-home-mommy. What a blessing and a challenge this has been for me.

I pray that 2012 will continue to bring new levels of growth, healing and joy; however, I cannot say goodbye to 2011 without taking a moment to thank each one of you who visit, subscribe, read and comment on my blog. It means more than you know.

And finally, I would like to publicly thank my Heavenly Father for the abundant grace that He has shown to us. I look forward to seeing what the new year holds and what He will do in 2012.

Coming Home

Five weeks ago, we came home from the hospital. As I sat in the wheelchair to leave the hospital and the nurse handed me our baby girl, I was suddenly overcome with grief. Although I was holding a living, breathing baby in my arms, I could not help but remember my experience in that wheelchair just 18 months ago.

This time, we stopped by the front desk to remove our baby's security bracelet...last time, there was no security bracelet to remove because nobody wants to kidnap a dead baby. This time, I got wheeled out the front door...last time, I got wheeled out the back door. This time, the nurse made sure we had a car seat and that our baby was safe and secure for the ride home...last time, we met the undertaker at the back door, and there was no car seat, just a tiny casket.

One never knows when the dam of grief will break, but when it does, there is no use trying to hold it back. So, I cried all the way home from the hospital, and carefully evaded the barrage of cameras upon our arrival home. So much for a happy homecoming.

Later that afternoon, I received an email entitled "David Nathaniel" from a man in India. This man told me that he had a son who had been born just hours after Esther. He explained to me that he had been searching the internet for a Biblical name for his son. While searching, he came across the name "Nathaniel" on a Christian baby name site, and he immediately liked it.

He liked the names "Nathaniel David" and "David Nathaniel" because they sounded "majestic, lovely, and unique," and when he typed the name "David Nathaniel" into Google, he discovered my blog. He closed his email by stating, "If the thought that a baby somewhere in the world is going to be named 'David Nathaniel' gives you any comfort, I hope it does, I will be happy for you."

I was blown away. I could scarcely believe that on that very day, the day that my David Nathaniel would have celebrated his 18-month birthday and the day that we brought our Esther home from the hospital, God had impressed the name "David Nathaniel" upon a man's heart halfway across the globe, and God caused this man to find my blog and contact me.

Amazing love.

In that moment, my sorrow was overcome by God's immeasurable love for me. I was overwhelmed by the thought that my Father God would go to such great lengths to show His love to me, to comfort me, and to let me know that my David Nathaniel had not been forgotten. My God is the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, and He is more than just these things by title. He is these things to me. Isaiah 9:6.

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power...to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19.

Our Star

It is with great joy and thankful hearts that we announce the birth of our precious daughter, Esther Alicia Watson. Our "star" (the literal meaning of Esther) was born on September 29 at 11:52 a.m., weighing 6 lbs., 10 oz., and measuring 19.5 inches. She is perfect and beautiful in every way, and we are overwhelmed by God's gracious gift to us.

Just moments after her entrance into the world, she is bright-eyed and attentive to her mommy.

Adoring brothers can't keep their eyes off of her ...

and mommy and daddy are absolutely thrilled to bring her home from the hospital.

Is she precious or what?

Invisible Presence

Whenever Caleb sees a picture of an image that resembles God in his mind, he points to it and says, "That's God." Every time this happens, I have to tell him that the picture is not God, and when he proceeds to ask what God looks like, I have the unenviable task of trying to explain to a four-year-old that we cannot see God.

I can relate to Caleb's confusion in this matter, as I have also struggled with God's invisible presence. Most of the time, I am confident of His presence, but I still have questions. Over the past twelve months, I have personally known three different families who were told that their babies would likely be born with serious health problems, and miraculously, all three of them were born healthy.

I am thrilled for these families and encouraged to see the hand of God in their lives. But each and every time, I am left wondering, "Why not me? Why not my baby? Where were you, God?" I have been offered several possible answers to these questions, but in the end, no answer takes away the deep pain of the reality that I am here, and my baby boy is not.

In His grace, God has chosen to bless us with a fourth child, a baby girl. She is not a replacement, but she is a gift, and I am praying that her presence will bring tremendous healing to our family. It is hard to believe that she will be here in just a few short days. Tom and I did not have any trouble choosing a name for her, as we had decided upon a girl name over eight years ago. Her name is Esther.

This pregnancy has been difficult and filled with moments of doubt. "Will this baby be healthy? Will we really get to bring her home from the hospital?" Many have offered me words of comfort and encouragement, but no one can make me any guarantees. My only guarantee is Christ. I must choose to lay down my fear and trust that whatever the outcome, I have a God who has come near to me by the blood of Jesus. “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ” (Eph. 2:13).

I find it intriguing that the only book in the Bible from which the name of God is missing is the book of Esther. As John Piper put it, "The absence of God's name in the book of Esther means: God is invisibly present and ruling in your life, as in this story."

The gift of Esther is a beautiful reminder of how God is weaving together His story in our lives through His "invisible presence."

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father,
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

This is the only hymn that I wanted to sing at David's funeral. While there were plenty of other hymns to choose from, no other song seemed appropriate. I did not feel "Amazing Grace" or that it was "Well with my Soul." I could, however, say with confidence that God is faithful yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

And He has been faithful.

Over the past 15 months, He has continued to display His great faithfulness to our family. Although there are more ways that I can recount, I would like to share just one, which involves the story that He is writing in our son Benjamin's life.

In January 2010, Tom and I began to believe God for a miracle in David's life, and we both felt lead to involve our children in asking God to do the impossible. We did not go into this blindly. We knew that God might not choose to heal David, and we knew that this could potentially have a devastating effect on the fragile faith of our children. We also knew that we had to obey, and the results were in God's hands.

So, we prayed. Again and again, our family went before God Almighty in prayer, and we begged Him to heal our son and brother. We went before the elders of our church, and they prayed over us and anointed us with oil in the name of the Lord (James 5). And on that day, our pastor read from Daniel 3.

And Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego said to King Nebuchadnezzar, "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

And shortly thereafter, the time came for us to lay our "Isaac" at the altar of God. We did not know what the outcome would be, but we knew that the Lord would provide (Genesis 22:14). And He did provide, just not in the way we expected Him to.

In March of this year, the one-year anniversary of David's birth and death, our church gave us a children's Bible for the boys. We already had one, but for some reason this Bible was special. Benjamin brought it home and read it from cover to cover in two weeks. Then, he read it again ... four more times. And when asked to recount his very favorite story, he told the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Daniel 3.

Amazing.

On his own initiative, Benjamin has continued to read the Bible almost every night. A couple of weeks ago, Tom read Benjamin the story of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 22, and Benjamin asked how Abraham heard God speak to him. Tom explained that God gives His Holy Spirit to His children, and God speaks to His children through His Spirit. Benjamin told Tom that he wanted to become a child of God. And on that very night, Benjamin confessed his sin to God and professed his faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ. Benjamin was born again (John 3).

I do not think that it is a coincidence that Benjamin's favorite Bible story is in Daniel 3, nor do I think that it is mere chance that Benjamin was born into the family of God after hearing the story in Genesis 22. I am convinced that God used our prayers offered in faith for David's healing to begin a miraculous work of faith in Benjamin's life.

God works in mysterious ways. His ways are not our ways, but He is good, and He knows what He is doing. In the darkest days of life, and even in death, He is planting seeds that will spring forth new life, and the life that He gives can never be taken away.

Great is His faithfulness.