Coming Home

Five weeks ago, we came home from the hospital. As I sat in the wheelchair to leave the hospital and the nurse handed me our baby girl, I was suddenly overcome with grief. Although I was holding a living, breathing baby in my arms, I could not help but remember my experience in that wheelchair just 18 months ago.

This time, we stopped by the front desk to remove our baby's security bracelet...last time, there was no security bracelet to remove because nobody wants to kidnap a dead baby. This time, I got wheeled out the front door...last time, I got wheeled out the back door. This time, the nurse made sure we had a car seat and that our baby was safe and secure for the ride home...last time, we met the undertaker at the back door, and there was no car seat, just a tiny casket.

One never knows when the dam of grief will break, but when it does, there is no use trying to hold it back. So, I cried all the way home from the hospital, and carefully evaded the barrage of cameras upon our arrival home. So much for a happy homecoming.

Later that afternoon, I received an email entitled "David Nathaniel" from a man in India. This man told me that he had a son who had been born just hours after Esther. He explained to me that he had been searching the internet for a Biblical name for his son. While searching, he came across the name "Nathaniel" on a Christian baby name site, and he immediately liked it.

He liked the names "Nathaniel David" and "David Nathaniel" because they sounded "majestic, lovely, and unique," and when he typed the name "David Nathaniel" into Google, he discovered my blog. He closed his email by stating, "If the thought that a baby somewhere in the world is going to be named 'David Nathaniel' gives you any comfort, I hope it does, I will be happy for you."

I was blown away. I could scarcely believe that on that very day, the day that my David Nathaniel would have celebrated his 18-month birthday and the day that we brought our Esther home from the hospital, God had impressed the name "David Nathaniel" upon a man's heart halfway across the globe, and God caused this man to find my blog and contact me.

Amazing love.

In that moment, my sorrow was overcome by God's immeasurable love for me. I was overwhelmed by the thought that my Father God would go to such great lengths to show His love to me, to comfort me, and to let me know that my David Nathaniel had not been forgotten. My God is the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, and He is more than just these things by title. He is these things to me. Isaiah 9:6.

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power...to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19.