Mercy and Compassion

Seven months ago, Esther came into this world and into our home. Words cannot express the tremendous joy and healing that she has brought to our family. Though I will always miss David, I thank God that my arms are not empty anymore.

This time last year, I could barely be in the same room with a baby, let alone hold one. I forced myself to hold two babies between David and Esther. While both of these sweet babies are very special to me, holding them in my arms felt completely unnatural. Though I was a mother of three, the deep pain inside my heart suffocated my motherly instinct.

As I remember these moments of heartache, I can hardly believe that they took place just last year. The transformation that my heart has undergone in the last seven months amazes me. I am incredibly grateful to my Heavenly Father who is full of compassion and mercy (James 5:11). I want to shout from the rooftops, "Hallelujah, God is so good!"

If it were not for the loss of David, I do not know if I would have decided to leave my job to stay at home with my kids. And though raising three little ones is a challenging and exhausting task, there is no job in the world that I would rather have. Every moment and every memory is precious, and that sweet baby girl is healing balm to my heart.

God's ways and His plans continue to be a mystery to me, but His steadfast love is undeniable.

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall...Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness...Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love (Lamentations 3:19-32).

If you find yourself in the deep, dark night of suffering right now, do not despair. Joy will come in the morning. He will turn your wailing into dancing. He will remove your sackcloth and clothe you with joy (Psalm 30:11). He will bring healing to your heart that you never dreamed possible.

I know because that's exactly what He has done for me.