The Kiss of Affliction

This past week Matt Chandler, a prominent young pastor of a growing Dallas church, had surgery to remove a brain tumor after he collapsed at home on Thanksgiving morning. Chandler has significantly influenced Tom and me over the past couple of years, and he continues to encourage us in this trial. In response to the news of his tumor, he said, "There is this part of me that is so grateful that the Lord counted me worthy for this." These are my sentiments exactly.

Words are inadequate to describe the great love that the Father has shown me in this trial over the past 8 weeks. It has been completely overwhelming. Though the first taste was bitter, the mercy and grace that the Father has lavishly poured out has been so sweet. While I have cried many tears of sadness, I have also cried many tears of joy at the realization of the magnitude of the Father's great love for me ... that He would count me worthy to endure this trial and to be loved by Him with such intensity.

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you (I Peter 4:12). Do not be afraid, but take courage. Trust your Heavenly Father and the great love that He has for you as His child. "The clouds ye so much dread are big with mercy and shall break in blessings on your head. His purposes will ripen fast, unfolding every hour. The bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flower." ~ William Cowper

George Mueller, a great man of faith, read Psalm 119:68 at his wife's funeral, "Thou art good, and doest good." The basis of his message was that God was good to give him his wife, God was good to give them many years together, and God was good in taking her from him. He said, "I will miss her in numberless ways, but I continually kiss the hand that afflicts me." Mueller could say this with integrity because He knew the intimate love of His Heavenly Father.

I kiss the hand that afflicts me because it is the sweetest hand of all.

A Valentine's Tribute

Two years ago, my husband Tommy hijacked my blog and wrote me the sweetest Valentine, just two weeks before our son David was born. This year, it is my turn to return the favor.

Dear Tommy,

We have been through so much together over the last 12 years. Law school, seminary, job loss, and losing David. Statistics say that our marriage should be over, but I say that we are stronger than ever. By the grace of God, we have emerged from the deep valleys as the best of friends.

The bond that we share has come at a great cost. Though we should not have been surprised at our suffering (I Peter 4:12), we were. As the trials of this life closed in on us, the heat became almost unbearable. At times, it seemed as though we could not withstand the Refiner's fire (Malachi 3:2). The process of our sanctification together has been difficult and painful.

God's plan for our lives was not the path that we envisioned when we said our vows 12 years ago. But God, in His infinite wisdom and immeasurable love, ordained each day of our lives before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:16). His kiss of affliction has made us what we are today.

Through it all, you became my rock and my safe haven. You led me with strength and tenderness. Your spiritual fortitude and unwavering hope in God nourished and strengthened my spirit. Thank you for recognizing the great importance of your role as my spiritual leader.

In my brokenness, I learned to lean on you, and you were faithful to hold me up. Thank you for loving me faithfully and sacrificially. Thank you for watering my soul with truth, cultivating God's work in my life, and honoring me as your wife and fellow heir of grace. You are truly a gift.

I love you,

Rachael