Well, I can only speak from my own experience, but I can tell you that losing my David has not been easy. It has been lonely and difficult. I cannot even stand to be within earshot of a crying baby without getting sick to my stomach. The reality of his loss is nauseating to me. No one knew him like I knew him. No one but me spent every waking and sleeping moment with him for nine months. No one else had the privilege to feel his every movement - no one but me.
I am sorry that I did not get the chance to introduce him to you. Like any new baby, he was my pride and joy. When Benjamin and Caleb were born, my greatest joy in life was to show them off to everyone who would give me the time of day. Well, I never got the chance to "show off" my David. So, this post is dedicated to doing just that.
I realize that it is a poor substitute to carrying around my beautiful baby boy with soft black curls and introducing him to every person that I meet, but this is all that I have. So, here goes my meager attempt to "show off" my precious son, David Nathaniel.
Special thanks to Oana Hogrefe Photography for capturing these priceless moments for our family. You captured every detail and every emotion with such elegance and authenticity. We are eternally grateful for you.
Oh, Rachael. I find myself sobbing every time I read your blog... and tonight is no different. All I can say is I am so sorry. I am so glad you have Jesus to hold on to to give you Hope... Cause I don't know how people do it without Him. I feel only a minute fraction of your grief having recently lost a pregnancy myself very early on. I just can't imagine being in your situation, and I won't pretend to or say, "It's ok!" I hope you know how many people are praying for you guys and that you are able to FEEL those prayers. What a faithful God we have. Do you not LONG for Heaven that much more now? I'm sure you do. :)
ReplyDeleteHe is indeed beautiful! Thank you for posting these beautiful photos of David. Still praying!! I love you, Rachael
ReplyDeleteRachel- David is so handsome-such pretty skin and those gorgeous curls! Thank you for sharing all of these beautiful pictures of your precious family. Please know that I am praying for you daily in your distress (Ps.31:9-10) for God's strength (Isa. 41:10) and comfort (2 Cor. 1:3-4) that he will bind your wounds (Psa. 147:3) and bring you forth as gold (Job 23:10).
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you,
Mayer
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ReplyDeleteRachael,
ReplyDeleteThank you for letting us into this part of your life. Your David is amazingly beautiful. It is an honor to get to see him and the many other photos you've share in this particular blog. I have no words of wisdom to share here because I've never experienced the loss that you have. My mother did however. She had a baby boy, Kevin that passed 2 days after being born full term. Even when I look at her 40 years after that horrible time in her life, I can still see that he is just a much a part of her than my brother and me. When we talk about it, oddly enough, it's not with words. It's just one mother's heart connecting to another, but there is something in what she went through with Kevin, a bond she shared with him and still does, that I will never be able to comprehend.
I don't have any fancy words or phrases, or even quotes that will comfort you right now, because I'm sure you've heard them all.
I will just say that you and your Daivid and the rest of the family still continue to be in my prayers.
Chantelle
Thank you so much for sharing these beautiful pictures! The photographer did a wonderful job capturing all the emotions and beauty of your family! David Nathaniel is a precious and beautiful angel! Sending many prayers up for your family always.
ReplyDeleteOh my...beautiful, breathtaking, heartwrenching photos. So much emotion attached to each picture. David is so handsome and loved in amazing ways. Praying you will hear Jesus whispering to your heart, "Well done."
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing and I think of you so often. Praying for comfort and hope to fill your heart.
Sending love,
Laura
David is precious...the pictures are so sweet and capture the love you all have for him. I will be lifting you up in prayer as you continue on this journey....I can't imagine the grief you have felt...but thankful that the Father can. God bless your beautiful family...may God continue to use you to bless others!
ReplyDeleteJohn Newton:
ReplyDeleteI asked the LORD that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of his salvation know,
And seek, more earnestly, his face.
'Twas he who taught me thus to pray,
And he, I trust, has answered prayer!
But it has been in such a way,
As almost drove me to despair.
I hoped that in some favored hour,
At once he'd answer my request;
And by his love's constraining pow'r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.
Instead of this, he made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow'rs of hell
Assault my soul in every part.
Yea more, with his own hand he seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.
LORD, why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
"'Tis in this way," the LORD replied,
"I answer prayer for grace and faith.
These inward trials I employ,
From self, and pride, to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may'st find thy all in me."
Oh Rach, I'm so glad you were able to have these photos taken! They are beautiful, and I know you will treasure them. Thank you for "showing off" your little one. :) His every detail is precious and perfect. I love you and am praying for your heart!
ReplyDelete